I hadn't given it upcompletely, but it wasn't like it used to be. I had been a dedicatedslut, partying with my t-girl friends and the men who loved us. Theirlove was superficial, physical and short-lived, but I loved the sceneand truth be told, I really missed it. When men were in short supply wetook our pleasure and comfort in each other's company, sucking andfucking the night away.In any event, it was Friday night and I was exhausted from helping Cindyall week. I had just retrieved Jason, who was now seven, from a birthdayparty. Carly, Jason's sister, was still at a friend's house. I washoping Cindy could make that trip!"Jason, it's bedtime!" I called out. "Change into your jammies and brushteeth." I turned towards Cindy, "Can you get Carly or would you like meto?" I'll do it. You put Jason to bed. I'll be back in a half hour."Cindy and I worked well together. This really wasn't my thing but I hadbeen helping Cindy for so long that it had become my thing. "I wasfinally a mother!" I. Susan wanted to go to her, and would have, threat of the belt or no, if he hadn’t laughed then. ‘Pretty good, Jen,’ he said, and something landed next to her mother’s face with a sickening thud. A small paper bag. ‘Here’s a little something extra. See you next week.’ Susan heard his boots on the linoleum and scrambled under the covers on the couch, settling into the indentation made by her mother’s body in the night. She peeked out to look, her mother still on the floor, curled on her side now, staring at the bag. She heard the kitchen door slam, and her mother sobbed, picking up the bag and throwing it through the doorway into the living room. Susan ducked under the covers until only her eyes were showing, waiting, watching. She would always remember the way her mother sobbed as she sat up, not bothering to pull her robe together as she stood. Tall and pale in the early morning light, her face was smudged with mascara and blood. She stood, head down, trembling and quiet for a.
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