If it hadn't been so late, or if Linda hadn't given me at least some clues, I'd have been too terrified to even try. But we were stuck, at least temporarily, so we had to try to act like each other. I distinctly remember that, as I lay in bed waiting to sleep, scared that the change might be permanent, scared of being discovered, scared of a thousand unknowns of our change, I contemplated how the sexual experience had differed from what I'd previously imagined. I'd guessed that it was good, but I'd underestimated at how good it really felt. Unable to sleep from my worries, I eventually distracted myself by exploring Linda's body, and finally, exhaustion from a series of self-induced pleasure let me drift off to sleep.The rest of that first weekend I lived in a fog, sometimes barely aware of what was going on around me. Linda's family went out of town Saturday morning to an uncle's birthday party. Of course, that meant that I went along. I tried to call Linda before I had to. " Darryl, where have you been the last four months? Nobody knew where you were. Darryl, I miss you and I need you to come home. I'm pregnant and the bank's going to foreclose on the double wide." Do you miss me or the money train I was before I caught you cheating on me? I'm not telling you where I'm at, where I've been, or anything else. Have you started divorce proceedings yet?" NO! I don't want a divorce. I love you and want you back. I'll do whatever you need me to do if you'll come home." I want to ask you a question and I want an honest answer from you, Elaine. How many times have you gotten laid in the last four months?" Why do you need to know that? I told you it was over when you called that Saturday morning." Because I've gotten laid zero times in the last four months. The first couple of months I had to drink myself to sleep and sex didn't even enter my mind. Now whenever I get the urge, I dredge up the memory of hearing you come on another man's cock or the sight of you.
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