Some people teased me and said my figure was boyish, but I knew there was enough swell of my hips to catch the interest of quite a few guys.I had never solo dated. I always went out with a mixed group of boys and girls from either my school or my church. I went to the beach with a bunch of kids and one of the boys took a bunch of bathing suit pics of me and posted them online. My suit was modest compared to what a lot of girls wear, but it made me feel like I couldn’t trust anyone. I looked through all the comments posted about my beach pics, and there were a lot of, “Wish I’d have known you’d turn out so HOT!” kinds of posts from boys I’d gone to school with. I thought that was strange because I had the highest-grade point in my graduating class and I won all the major academic awards that year. I was a SERIOUS student, but all anyone noticed was my looks.A private message from Uncle George just offered sponsorship by his wife’s salon if I wanted to do modeling or pageants in. I went home, thinking I must be dreaming. I spent the rest ofSunday laying around. I felt. ... numb. The hours dragged by without memoving or even thinking much. I did the bare minimum to survive, andthat's it.Monday finally rolled around and I shuffled to school. I'm not sure why Iwent, except that school was such a big part of my routine not going nevercrossed my mind. Not that much was crossing my mind anyway. I was justgoing through the motions, waiting for something to happen.The only time I broke out of my fog was when I went to Drama class and sawLinda,. She came up to me, and gave me a hug, and said, "well, how wasyour weekend? You considering my offer to be my boyfriend?"I took her arms from around my neck and said, "I tried to tell you Tonywouldn't just leave it alone. Its your fault he.... he..." I couldn'tcontinue. I shoved her away from me, and went to my seat in the class. Irefused to look at her the rest of the class, and after it was over, Iwent back into the numb.
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