”I should cry but I couldn’t it was a fantasy that I long for coming true. The silence was unbearable as he sat reading more of my notebook waiting for me to act. I couldn’t think of another way out of this so I did what I had to do.I opened my coat and let it drop down to the floor along with my school journal. I wore a simple crew neck that I tugged over my head dropping it beside my coat. My undefined but slim stomach and small chest was displayed with the added chill in the room making my nipples hard.I kicked off my shoes and undid my relax jeans button fly pushing them to my ankles and stepping out of them. I removed my socks and finally I had to remove my form fitting briefs but I hesitated. I know he could see the uneasiness in my wanting to display my privates to him.“Come on Jamie, you’re almost there, don’t turn back now you won’t regret it.”His words weren’t cruel, they were encouraging. I placed my thumbs in my waist band and with a slow turn I pulled them down taking my. In her sorrow I saw a beauty I had not observed before. Her mouth shut tightly against the sounds of her weeping – a mouth that in its fullness promised laughter and love. Her slightly aquiline nose and above it a broad forehead surmounted by luxuriant auburn hair. Above all those eyes, not black as they had seemed at a distance, but dark brown and now swimming with tears. I looked away, unable to bear the sight of her grief and strangely, the sight of Sam cuddled against her. It was all so agonisingly poignant. I was so choked that I was no longer singing, but at the line, “stay by my side until morning is nigh,” I found myself whispering, “stay by her side until morning is nigh.” The agnostic offering his prayer for a woman he did not know, but who was in her grief holding his child. When the hymn ended the priest called the congregation to prayer. It was a prayer that caught up the needs of people, their sorrows and pains. Again I found myself praying to the doubted God, “Give her.
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