The c***dbirth DumpThis one is just too big to go through the aperture provided by nature for this purpose. You sit there thinking over your dilemma. First it hurts, and then gets no better. You sweat violently and wonder if you'll ever see your loved ones again. You imagine the newspaper headlines screaming "Man dies trying to hatch monster loaf!" There are only three things you can do: 1. Scream 2. Call an Obstetrician 3. Hope to hell you've got some Vaseline to help you get through it.The Machine Gun DumpBest utilized in public conveniences. You sit there in sublime peace when suddenly you emit a group of noisy gassy bursts that break the tranquility like machine gun fire. The guy in the next cubicle hits the floor like a Vietnam veteran, cradling his umbrella like a M16....damn commies.The Sound Effect DumpYou feel a noisy one coming on but relatives, friends or work mates are within earshot. So, you must employ some clever techniques to cover the disgusting sounds you are about. The next big occasion in my life was my 16th birthday and my mother gave me what she considered to be a really nice “Sweet Sixteen” birthday party, which means of course that for me and my poor boobs and tushy it was just awful. One night at dinner Mom announced to my step brothers that I was about to turn 16 and that she had decided toinvite a lot of neighborhood kids and their parents over on Saturday for a party. “Is it going to be like a regular Satrurday,” asked 11-year-old Jimmy, by which he meant would I be forced to go around naked and let him and my other step-brother, 9-year-old Billy do what ever they wanted to my body as long as they focused on my tushy hole and left my virginal pussy on view but untouched.”Well since all the neighborhood kids are going to be there,” said Mom with an evil glint in her eye, “I thought you boys might think of something that would be even more entertaining. So I’m asking you for ideas!”At this, I just burst into tears and asked if I could.
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