. Q: ‘Officer --- did you see my client fleeing the scene?’A: ‘No, sir. But I subsequently observed a person matching the description of the offender, running several blocks away.’Q: ‘Officer, who provided this description?’A: ‘The officer who responded to the scene.’Q: ‘A fellow officer provided the description of this so-called offender. Do you trust your fellow officers?’A: ‘Yes, sir. With my life.’Q: ‘With your life? Let me ask you this then officer. Do you have a room where you change your clothes in preparation for your daily duties?’A: ‘Yes sir, we do!’Q: ‘And do you have a locker in the room?’A: ‘Yes, sir, I do.’Q: ‘And do you have a lock on your locker?’A: ‘Yes, sir.’Q: ‘Now, why is it, officer, if you trust your fellow officers with your life, you find it necessary to lock your locker in a room you share with these same officers?’A: ‘You see, sir, we share the building with the court complex, and sometimes lawyers have been known to walk through that room.’ The courtroom. ’ ‘Yeah,’ she said, ‘I’ve had other men tell me similar things. It comes with the territory. And in my case there’s a lot of territory!’ ‘You mean other men have come in their pants from just your fondling?’ ‘Ed, honey, I’ve seen men come just from watching me in a big old fashioned one-piece swimsuit get out of the river and dry off.’ ‘Hmm,’ I grunted, thinking about that statement. It was at once extremely exciting and simultaneously made me jealous or envious or — I didn’t know what. Bottom line for the moment, though: This was good, really good. The message was that Ed was getting something tonight. Wasn’t there a Tim Allen joke about this? He says, ‘My wife can predict the future, you know. She can tell whether or not I’m going to get laid tonight!’ As we were getting up to leave I noticed that Simone had left a little bit of champagne in her glass. That must be her half-of-one percent, I thought to myself, I’ve got to find out about that. We managed to make it back to my car.
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