I couldn't sleep. My mind kept going on a roller coaster of emotions,one minute thinking of my father, then of all things the fairy on theChristmas tree, my mother's case and the lovely family, shortly to beparted from me. I looked out of the window. There were no curtains upand the night was cold and clear. There were thousands of stars outthere all twinkling in black night sky. Suddenly I saw a shooting starwhoosh across the sky. Perhaps it was my father on his way to findingMum. Then I realised that I was stupid to blame myself for everything.It wasn't my fault that Mum died and Dad had been drinking heavily foryears. Okay I wanted to be a girl and had been caught wearing my mum'sthings. But I could not help being the way I was. Any more than myDad's inability to cope with life after Mum died.I got out of bed and knelt down. I prayed that my Dad would now be atpeace and that my Mum would be there welcoming him into heaven. I feltmuch better after that and it was as if a great. Of course I said she could pick all she wanted. Just above the blackberries are several large evergreens about 30 feet high that separate our two back yards. These will come into play later. I started noticing that nearly every time I mowed the yard or worked in my vegetable garden she would come out and either do the yoga stuff or sun bathe in a bikini. And looking back I now know she was trying to get my attention.One day when my wife was at work and I was home alone and out in the yard she came out in a tiny black bikini and spread her blanket out in plain view of me. I kept working and she got up and came over to the fence by the black berries and we started talking. She asked me if I thought she would look good on the beach or something like that and I said I thought she looked very nice in her bikini and would probably have a lot of folks looking at her.Then she asked if I wanted to look at her and I said well I am looking at you right now. This was starting to sound a little.
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