”“OK.”We said ‘goodbye’ and I hung up. I walked over to the couch and sat down next to Lara.“Liz and Paul decided to get married in December. They’re going to use a judge, not a church ceremony.”“I guess that wasn’t a surprise.”“No, it wasn’t. The only question is which day they’ll have the ceremony.”“And your parents?”“As of right now, I’d say they won’t be there. I’ll do my best to work on my mom, but I’m not holding my breath. I really expected my mom to at least be talking to me about it by now.”“What are you going to do at Thanksgiving?”“I have no idea,” I replied. “A lot depends on Clarissa, because I don’t want her to be alone. It’s not clear if her dad will come around or not. I’m sure I’ll have an invitation from Jocelyn, and I’d expect one from the Kozlovs. I’m sure you’re thinking about extending an invitation as well.”“The problem with that is this year I’m having Thanksgiving dinner at my step-dad’s house and Christmas dinner at my biological dad’s house. I alternate. Initially all went well and I applied the gel and stood waiting for something to happen. I didn't have long to wait.At first there was a gentle warmth which in a matter of seconds was replaced by an intense burning and a feeling I can only describe as like being given a barbed wire wedgie by two people intent on hitting the ceiling with my head.Religion hadn't featured much in my life until that night but I suddenly became willing to convert to any religion to stop the violent burning around the turd tunnel and what seemed like the destruction of the meat and two veg.Stuggling to not bite through my bottom lip I tried to wash the gel of in the sink and only succeeded in blocking the plughole with a mat of hair.Through the haze of tears I struggled out of the bathroom across the hall into the kitchen by this time walking was not really possible and I crawled the final yard to the fridge in the hope of some form of cold relief.I yanked the freezer drawer out and found a tub of ice.
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