Friday was my ICI interview. Imperial Chemical Industries was a huge firm with a broad range of products from paints to explosives via raw materials for plastics, solvents, fertilisers and pesticides, and I reckoned that I could have a varied and interesting career with them. They too had many overseas interests, and there would surely be a chance for Julie and I to try out the ex-pat lifestyle for a few years, if we fancied it.To be honest, ICI were the company I most fancied working for.I’d been really impressed with some of the research papers that ICI had published; they seemed to be doing ‘pure’ research as well as more product-specific, and my tutor had told me that they were very likely to encourage me to do some research of my own which would quickly allow me to gain a Ph.D. That was very attractive; it would boost my salary and employability.This interview was different again from the others; there were two people there, one who introduced himself as a manager and the other a. Thenannounce in horror: “You’re one of THEM” -and back away slowly7) SAY -DING at each floor.8) SAY “I wonder what all these do?” And pushall the red buttons.9) MAKE explosion noises when anyone presses abutton.10) STARE, grinning at another passenger for awhile, then announce: “I have new socks on.”11) WHEN the elevator is silent, look around andask: “Is that your beeper?”12) TRY to make personal calls on the emergencyphone.13) DRAW a little square on the floor with chalkand announce to the other passengers: “This ismy personal space.”14) WHEN there’s only one other person in theelevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretendit wasn’t you.15) PUSH the buttons and pretend they give you ashock. Smile, and go back for more.16) ASK if you can push the button for otherpeople but push the wrong ones.17) HOLD the doors open and say you’re waitingfor your friend. After a while, let the doorsclose and say “Hi Greg, How’s your daybeen?”18) DROP a pen and wail until someone reaches tohelp.
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