Our will causes us to want and to need, and when we cannot have what we want and need, we become frustrated. We suffer. Suffering is pain, and pain must be avoided.’ Natasha’s lips were moving, but Jessica didn’t really see them anymore. She used to perform Exercise One in front of a candle, but it had only taken a few days before she no longer needed the physical presence of the flame to see its brightness in her mind’s eye. Her thoughts were descending through the outer orange of the fire, in through the yellow, down to the white as she continued to speak. ‘We can never have all that we want. Satisfying desire leads only to more desires, until eventually we reach a desire that can never be fulfilled. Unfulfilled desire leads to frustration, and frustration leads to suffering, and suffering is pain.’ Jessica’s thoughts felt like a needle on a record now, slipping into a groove and traveling along it. Every time she tried to shift her mind out of the pattern of Exercise One, she. I trust that you will indulge an old man and respond.It went on a bit, but that was all that might be relevant. "Have you read this?" I asked, holding the yellowing sheet out to Billings."No. One of the men said there were files, but I hadn't looked at anything. Do you think it's important?" I don't know. It's old. But it's the only personal correspondence I've seen." I flipped through the sheets. "There's too much to read right now. Might I take the stuff with me?" I'd rather not. Especially if it might prove relevant. Look, you told your wife you'd be back around four. There's still an hour. Read a bit more and let me know what you think." OK. But we'll have to whiz up to La Jolla." I had my desires and Billings had his."No problem. We can make it in ten minutes."I paged through the file. The next letter was from the end of November 1964. It was fairly obvious what Gillespie must have written.Your questions are searching and profound ones. And while I have the appropriate responses.
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