On Friday afternoons, I usually tried to sneak out of work a little early. No special reason, just something I started to do years ago, and saw no reason to stop. No one ever seemed to complain. I got home, plopped myself into my easy chair, and heard my wife and daughter arguing in the kitchen. It was evident that they had no idea I was home. It was a strain, but I was able to pick up bits and pieces of the conversation."No, Julie, I have no idea who it could be. I was sure it was your father." My father? Damn it, Mom. This is not my father." I assumed at this point she had gotten the DNA results back and was holding them. "I have no idea who my father is, and to make matters worse, my own mother has no idea who he is."There was a lot of mumbling and confusion when both of them were talking at the same time, but I could still get some of it."They can't even put a name to this DNA sample. It is not in any database of any type. If you can't help me, who the hell can?"I was getting a. "Then he grinned. "Of course, at some point in time, if they continue to be total morons, I will reach the end of my patience and we'll try another bank."Another trip, back to the elevators and up to more sumptuous offices, a smiling young man who shook our hands, asked for Craig's driver's license and left at once. He wasn't gone long, and when he handed my Uncle's license back, he told us someone would be with us shortly.A bit later, a man in a suit, more hand shakes. He told us his name was Gavin Henderson, he apologized profusely, promised imminent job action against those who had misunderstood Uncle Craig's request. In short, Uncle Craig was right.After about five minutes of that, Uncle Craig waved his hand."A hundred and fifty million dollars invested in the pathetic two and a quarter percent you offer on straight savings would have earned me $427 in the last half hour. Time, sir, is money. Time to get down to the matter at hand." You want to open an investment account?" Mr..
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