She opened her eyes and they were full of guilt, and I knew why. She pushed my hand away.“Graham we shouldn’t have done that. You knew I didn’t want that until I was married.”She moved away from me in the bed. It provoked annoyance. I was getting the blame – again?“You knew it as well,” I reposted, “but you went ahead anyway. You pulled me in.”“I could be pregnant.”“Unlikely: I was nowhere near; I hardly moved.”“Some sperm could have leaked out.”“As I said, highly unlikely.”“We had no right to take even the slightest risk.”“Wait a minute. You said full sex only if fully committed. Didn’t we commit to each other tonight, and didn’t you move your hips and push me into you? Or didn’t you mean it when you said you’d marry me?”“Of course I said I’d marry you, and I meant it, but we shouldn’t take risks like that until we’re married.”“We could use protection.” I said, knowing the reaction.“I don’t want rubber between us. I want us to be open to each other and to having a baby. So I don’t. "I wave to the girl. She giggles and does a little finger wave back to me. I am struck by her simple beauty. Her open friendliness to a stranger moves me. She is wearing the same pink jacket as before but this time her jeans are a deep purple colour."Yes, Gianna is with me again. Apparently her affliction will need more than one day of rest to cure. I didn't realise leprosy was such a long-lasting illness. As far as I know, no more fingers have fallen off so that is a blessing."Gianna giggles and waggles all ten of her fingers in the air for me to see."She spent the morning visiting her grandmother, now she is with me for the rest of the day."This time Gianna sits next to me. She takes out her book and starts reading.A chill tremor races through me – then it is gone.I turn to Benito."How is your drawing going?" It's fine. I need your help though. I want to know what you can see back over there. That's the direction you came from, isn't it?"It feels strange to look back. I don't do.
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