Our plan was to go to a local bar and also find a strip club. We ended up doing both and had a fantastic evening! When we were at the strip club Rachel was very interactive with the strippers at the club. She even looked at me at one point as she was getting a lap dance and said, “Can we take her home with us?!?” That’s when I got the idea to actually try and bring one of these girls home. Unfortunately, none of them would leave with us from the strip club, so I went to the phonebook! We arrived home around 1 o’clock, not super late and since we could not get a stripper to come home with us I went to the phonebook and looked up escort services. Upon calling the first escort service they asked me what type of girl we were looking for and missing our big boob blonde friend, Amber, we said that’s exactly what we wanted. The gentleman on the phone said I have just a girl! Sure enough a woman in the same stature as Amber arrives at our estate in Charleston. My two guy friends decided to. However, unknown to Artie, the entire proceedings were captured by the hidden security cameras and observed by the shop’s security guard, who immediately called the police. Artie was caught and arrested before he could even leave the premises.Under intense questioning at the police station, Artie revealed the whole sordid plan, including his unusual financial arrangements with the hapless husband who was also quickly arrested.The next day in the newspaper, the headline declared:“ARTIE CHOKES 2 for $1.00 @ Costco”These are compliments of Uncle P. If walking is good for your health, the postman would be immortal.A whale swims all day, only eats fish, and drinks water, but is still fat.A rabbit runs and hops and only lives 15 years, while a tortoise doesn’t run and does mostly nothing, yet it lives for 150 years. And they tell us to exercise? I don’t think so.Now that I’m older, here’s what I’ve discovered:1. I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.2. My wild oats are.
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