A hotel room booked. Dressed simply in jeans and a t-shirt, thanks to a last-minute attack of nerves that left me short on time, I check and recheck my appearance, my phone, anything to pass the time. My heart is beating in time with 'Blue Monday'. My insecurities about my body had staged a spectacular comeback that morning: what if he didn't find me attractive in person? What if he was repulsed? I wasn't a nubile young thing, my body bearing the marks of pregnancies and a life lived. I reason that there wasn't much of me he had yet to see and anyway, it was too late; I wasn't going to stand him up. He'd said no pressure to do anything – oddly, I trusted him. As the minutes pass, I feel the familiar butterflies. The mixture of anticipation and nerves. I feel slightly giddy, like a teen with a crush. I take a seat by the window of the bar of the hotel, watching the station exit. I check my watch again; his train would be pulling in any moment. My phone beeps. It's him. Just off the. Finally the Abbot came to what he had been looking for,an account he had read many times,the account of Venerable Domincus' punishment of a boy who had committed fornication. The boy was nineteen and had been sent to the Monastery for various 'wicked and sinful deeds....' The Venerable Dominicus wrote of how he had the boy brought to the dungeon of the Monastery,there the boy was stripped naked and tied face down over an old wooden whipping bench with his legs spread wide.The Venerable Dominicus described in great detail how he whipped the boy's 'bare,firm buttocks....,' and watched as the 'boy's white buttocks began to turn red,how his cries of pain filled my ears and reverberated around the chamber,he struggled,he profaned and then succumbing,he began to beg,to beg me to let him go,he became remorseful and said that he would never be bad again,how he would always come to confession and follow the direction of the good fathers of the Monastery. I had heard all of these shallow.
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