I’d actually said, in jest, ‘three down, four to go; five if I want to break the record’. Doctor Mercer had laughed and advised restraint when I relayed that vignette to her.I realized, as I drove, just how easy it would be to get there, as well. Maggie had, to my initial surprise, encouraged me to have casual sex with her friends. After some talking about it with Hannah and others, and thinking about it, I was sure that her basic idea was that if I was fooling around with her friends, I wouldn’t commit to anyone before she had a chance to see me regularly. It was a bit counter-intuitive, but in the end, because I was already experienced, a few more girls didn’t bother her. Of course, she’d made it quite clear that once we started dating seriously, I would be on a short leash, but I wouldn’t have expected, nor wanted, anything else.And that made me wonder how my fantasy about Violet had intersected with a pornographic movie I’d never seen. And I hadn’t even really discussed those. Those eyes. They were the most beautiful I had ever seen. They were prismatic and intense... ravenous and treacherous. The next morning I woke up to several text messages on my phone, all from Vincent. They ranged from “Ur so immature.” To “i’m srry.” What the hell did I see in this guy? Eventually, I found I was getting annoyed with myself. Here I sat for over two years... chasing and longing after this complete idiot. And in the end, I still wanted to be with him. Even in that moment. After my regular morning routine, I found myself calling Vincent, and apologizing for my behaviour. He was more than pleased with my revelations. Just as everything seemed to be falling back into its coordinated place, Riccardo dominated my mind profoundly. I wanted him. I wanted him badly. The day revolved around thoughts of Riccardo. From the moment I reached my dead end job to the time I reached my shabby apartment again... I was in lust with this man. However, by the time eight o’clock.
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