I held it as I walked to the couch."Now," I tried to sound tough, difficult to do in a mini-dress. "I thinkit is time you leave or I can take some batting practice on your knees."Alex pushed Chris off to the side onto the couch, she looked at me andback to him. I gripped the bat ready to swing.He reached down and pulled his pants back up. "Come on, Chris. Seemsthis guy isn't as much a pussy as we thought, you can blow me in thecar."Chris stood and pulled her dress over her head. "Sorry, Paul. Thought wecould have a bit more fun. Keep the dress, something to remember me by."She winked and headed for the door."Secondly," I called to her. "I don't like lace thongs. The lace on theback makes me itch too much."Chris laughed and walked out the door. Paul walked out right behind her.I closed and locked the door. I returned the bat to its old position inthe closet and then went to the bedroom. I stripped off the clothes,found a set of my own male clothes and put them on. I didn't think I'dbe. My hair, tousled as ever, thicker somehow. My face, in the misty lightof dawn, seems more delicate now, as if a curve of jaw and chin issharper, as if faint shadows now frame a rounder forehead. But still itis my gray eyes that gaze back. I wonder if, having flowered from within, contracted from without, I'llfeel a frailer wall between me and the world, a thinner skin.Wondering, calm as if I were watching a dream unfold, calm as ifknowing I will awaken.What I see, what I think it see: Impossible. As if I've shed a layer ortwo -- or even a smaller change, a change like one I might imagine if,emerging from a long soak in the bath, I peer through the steam to see,faintly in the mirror, a reflection of a possibility.Still me. Thin skin, pale through whatever now clouds vision; An edgeof rib, a shadow of hipbone. Hair a halo framing face, as if eachstrand had drunk so deeply of the steam, as deeply as I drunk of you,that it had thickened, been infused with the electricity that jolts.
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