"Look, I'm not sure I've told you this and I probably should have. You're the person I base my perception of right and wrong on. When I'm pondering a decision, I ask myself, 'What would Elizabeth think if I did this or that?' Now I found that your idea of right and wrong is far more warped than mine. You don't even have the decency to be ashamed. Your Dad said he thought you were in denial. I think it's just that you accepted that wrong works better for you in these instances." That's not true," Elizabeth said."It seems true to me," I countered."Let's talk about that in a minute," she said. "We have more important things to talk about. First, I want to deal with your issues with Paul Scarborough. I did not, outside of a drunken night 15 years ago, have any relationship with him beyond professional. I want you to understand that." Did you not think it germane to inform me that you were now in close proximity to a man you slept with?" I asked. "Particularly when that man is trying to. "Someone will see us!"She laughed outright at that."Chelsea already told me how you showed yourself off to all those nancy-boys skinny-dipping at the beach," she said, "So you shouldn't mindbare-assing around in front of straight folks! Now you two better getyour naked butts up here before I have Lyle of Jimmie toss you out on thestreet-- like that!"I cringed in fear at the thought, but Rob was already out ahead of me,streaking up the stairs as quick as he could. I followed, still trying tocover myself with my hands, and as I brushed past Rita, she gave my butta vigorous "SMACK!"Upstairs, it was.... Well, it wasn't a drunken orgy (everyone confinedthemselves to a couple beers) but it was definitely an orgy--and Rob and Iwere the serving girls! Chelsea gleefully made up our faces and styledour hair, and Rita put us in frilly aprons and high heels. Decked outlike this, Rob and I had to fix dinner, fetch drinks and generally servefour guys and our wives. It was humiliating simpering.
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