It was my gift to him the first time we ... never mind. That’s not important right now.He is erect.He is virgin.He and his mother live with my family but he is not my brother.He is my best friend.He has longed for this moment ever since the sap began to run. It isn’t sap and the little death that comes next isn’t really death. We both know this. We relish our knowledge. We are practiced at bringing each other to the peak and we have approached this final step many times but somehow, even when circumstances invited us to realize our fevered dreams, the moment did not feel right.Now, it feels right.We are at a turning point. The axis of our world will shift in a matter of days no matter what happens this afternoon. He leaves with me for college on Sunday. Today is Wednesday.He matriculates at the university my father attended and where I begin my senior year. His mother, Mama Fred, is away right now, so on Sunday we will travel, the four of us, to S--. Mom and Dad will see him settled. ‘Where the hell did that thought come from?’ she thought. ‘My cooking’s fine.’ ‘No, it’s not. It makes me queasy just to smell it, eating it’s even worse,’ he thought. ‘Yeah, I just lost all interest in cooking when your father left,’ Mabel said aloud. ‘I lost a lot of interest in other things too,’ she thought. He jerked as the drops burned and stung at his eyes and then double-checked his alarm clock again. He lay down, but sleep didn’t come. His mind was too wide-awake. Sighing, he got out one of his Braille books and read to himself. —- The alarm clock buzzed, growing increasingly louder until he hit the snooze button. He picked up the bottle of eye drops and jerked as the drops burned and stung. ‘Damn, I’ll be glad when I develop a tolerance for this,’ he thought and the burning ceased immediately. He turned off his alarm clock and staggered through his morning routine. ‘Cereal okay for breakfast?’ his mother asked. ‘Sure,’ he agreed and they ate in silence. —- ‘I cannot.
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