She was tall, about 5'9 with pale skin and red hair, tied up in a severe bun. Finally Susie turned to look at me and at that moment my heart sank as I realised we were wearing almost identical dresses. Her dress looked fabulous on her. Her slim petite frame allowed the fabric to hang alluringly rather than bulge out like mine did but there was no mistaking the high collared long sleeved dress. The only difference was hers was a maroon fabric, almost perfectly reflecting her hair colour. The waitress had returned and filled our glasses with a crisp sauvignon blanc and after waiting for a nod from Susie, I sipped it. God it tasted good. Maybe this wouldn't be so bad after all. Dinner in a beautiful restaurant, the woman I desired above all others sitting across the narrow table from me. My thoughts were interrupted by the sensations created by Susie's stocking covered toe running up the naked flesh of my calf. I looked at her over the rim of the wine glass. She had a wicked grin on. The biggest change was that my metaphorical field of vision narrowed. I lacked the ability to see how anything other than what should happen, could happen. I walked around with blinders on. It wasn’t all bad. The balancing factor was that I had a new capacity to concentrate on minutia. I wasn’t any smarter, but it was like I was a walking advertisement for Adderall.I learned to pick up cues from my peers. I had no problems socializing, but there were times when I just didn’t get a joke or the underlying meaning of what someone said. If others laughed or seemed taken aback, I followed suit. It didn’t happen often, but it was enough to remind me that in some ways, I was different.In everything else, I was pretty average. By the time I was in my second year of college, I stood 5’10 and weighed 155. My brown hair and eyes weren’t remarkable, but they weren’t repulsive. I could easily get lost in a crowd, but babies didn’t start crying when they saw me. I didn’t question it when Lillian.
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