He wouldn't be the first.As long as he would fight, I didn't give a shit who he screwed. For me it was about keeping his eye on the prize and that was one thing Legionares were famous for doing. I know some men were uncomfortable working with gay men, but they would have to find a way to get past it. There only other option was to say no, when I asked for help. That happened now and then anyway.It would have been so much easier to do this with an Eve unit, but it wasn't company business. It was personal. To start involving them in my personal shit would pretty much destroy the part of me that was left. If I didn't want to go into storage between jobs for them, I had to keep them out of my business.I went back and shut myself down except for a small power drain while I schemed. I seriously needed an end game plan, but I didn't have one. My whole plan at that moment was to inset Jerrod and gather intelligence, while hoping something would come to me.The one thing I absolutely knew by. Michelle was offering me a chance to talk about these deep feelings and as I had started on this path of divulgence, I did not want to deviate or waste the opportunity. “Your self-esteem has taken a battering. Still is by the sound of it?” Michelle suggested. I could not look at her but nodded in agreement. I could sense Michelle understood just how close to the mark she was on that point. “I feel as though I live under constant scrutiny, like I’m constantly being appraised and measured against her male work colleagues and in her assessment, albeit based on very narrow inputs, is that I come up short every time. As a result I am the target of her disrespectful judgments…” I started shaking, the pain of expressing these long withheld thoughts pushing me close to tears and I was struggling to keep them at bay. “You’re right about it being disrespectful, Ray.” Michelle said, comforting me. “It is very disrespectful to try to change a spouse’s thinking by way of lecture, ridicule,.
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