Never forget that.”Emmy sniffled again and shook her head. After a few long seconds, she shuffled her feet and stood up straight as I released her arm. Wiping her face and nose on her arm, she nodded her thanks and sat heavily in the sand, staring once again out over the beach. Sensing her need to be alone, I patted her twice on the head and walked off. I didn’t know whether or not my words made her feel any better, but I hoped that they would.Killing exacts a heavy psychological toll on the mind. No matter how many battles you fight, no matter how many people are slain by your hand, it is impossible to get used to killing. Every warrior eventually has a moment like Emmy’s, a moment where the gruesome reality of taking another human being’s life bursts through the dams that we all erect to block out that torment. For some, like Emmy, that moment comes after the first or second battle. For others, it comes after a lifetime of killing. There was no shame in crying over the. "Have you got any line on the shooters?" I pressed, pushed, promised huge bonuses and pressed some more. He kept his calm, which made one of us, and when he rang off, Colleen and Rebecca tag teamed me with comfort and kisses.The bank statements were current, and currently balanced. Carol paid everyone on time, and kept small balances set aside, in sub accounts, for special needs. There was just enough to pay the funeral expenses, and close out the account. So I checked and confirmed I was signatory on all Carol's accounts, and handled all her bills, including the mortuary.Rebecca and Colleen went on a scavenger hunt, and found Carol hid cash all over her bedroom. Apparently she worried about Tim's spending habits, and kept backup funds hidden for a rainy day. I asked them to gather it all up, and put it in Colleen's purse. I called the church Carol wrote small checks to every month, and donated the RAV4 and Sienna van to them. I told them the titles were signed and the cars were.
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