You deserve to chuckle at the very least once.Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety-one?If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea ... does that mean that one out of five enjoys it?Why do croutons come in airtight packages? Aren't they just stale bread to begin with?If people from Poland are called Poles, then why aren't people from Holland called Holes?If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist, but a person who drives a race car is not called a racist?If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, then doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?Do Lipton Tea employees take 'coffee breaks?'What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and. Life is good.My story begins around midnight. December 23rd had just turned into the 24th. I had just finished a photo shoot for a website. I had spent about an hour modeling a sheer baby doll nightie.On my way to the dressing room, something called to me. It was an irresistible beckoning I could not deny. I climbed in my little convertible and drove east out of LA and kept going, not knowing where my destination was.Around 4am, I saw the bright lights of Las Vegas in the distance. A feeling of déjà vu started creeping up on me. It felt like I had done this before, though I could not place when.I drove down the Strip, turning automatically onto a side street, without looking at its name. I turned into a parking garage, and got a ticket from the attendant, who gave me an odd look.I drove to the top of the garage, which was empty. I parked at the side of the lot, near the edge. I still didn't know why I was here. Oddly didn't even wonder. I closed my eyes and went to sleep.A knock on.
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