”“It was. I told you to lie about your psychiatric background.”“When I came back from Iraq I had post traumatic stress disorder. I still have symptoms. So I went in for treatment.”“That is what spooked them.”“Are they allowed to deny me a job because of that?”“No, but they did. They can say you lacked experience for the job.”“I came across the country for that job.”“I know, my friend said. “Until you can find a better job I suggest you work for the guard agency I did. They like to hire military veterans. They may promote you. They won’t care about your P.T.S.D. They hire people with felony convictions.”I got the guard job. Because guards do not get paid much I had to move to a dangerous neighborhood in one of the most dangerous cities in the United States: Oakland.I worked the swing shift, from 4:00 pm to 12:00 midnight. I do not have a car, so I walked along streets where people get mugged, robbed at gunpoint, and sometimes killed.Walking there in the afternoon is not so bad. Walking. ”“I looked gay to you?” I asked, getting upset.“Bob, no,” she said, reaching to touch my knee again. “I didn’t know anything. I was afraid of everything. She was all excited about what this guy wanted her to do. Marsha was a real save-the-whales type. I turned you down that first time because of my mom. But then, later, when I only saw you hanging out with guys at the Union, I started to think you might be gay. I mean you never went out with any girls.”“And you never went out with any guys,” I pointed out.“I was just used to living like that,” she said. “It was no big deal.”“It was a big deal. It made us both believe things that turned out to be wrong,” I said.“I guess that’s true. Anyway, I didn’t want to be some gay boy’s beard, even if I thought the boy was sweet. So that’s why I wouldn’t go have coffee with you.”“Man,” I said. I’m sure I sounded disgusted.“It’s also why I agreed to be your study partner after first semester was over. I thought if you were gay, I was safe being.
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