She felt sad for Tonia, who would never know the wonderful madness she herself had known with him. ‘And you never married?’ ‘I never said that. I was married twice. For three weeks the first time, eight months the second. No—nine. Nine months.’ She laughed. ‘You’re serious?’ He nodded. ‘I tried to do the right thing. I really did. They wanted to get married, so I figured they knew what they were doing. Maybe they did, but I didn’t. I just couldn’t do marriage. You knew that. That’s why you left.’ She looked at him with new respect, surprised that he understood. This wasn’t the old Jack, the one she’d known. ‘You’ve changed,’ she said. ‘Not all of you, thank God, but some of you.’ He smiled. It was a smile in which that wild mischief still lived, but subdued, toned down by a kind of shy sadness. ‘We get deeper as we age, don’t we? Everything slows down and gets deeper.’ So he could acknowledge pain. She hadn’t known if he ever could when they were younger, and now the realization. I didn’t know why. I was so innocent then. She then calmly told me about masturbating and sex and everything that helped get me rid of my innocence. I was actually quite happy. Finally, I didn’t have to worry about those tingling sensations! Again, I was daydreaming. Trisha nudged and signaled me to sit in the car. I took the passenger seat and Trisha started driving. Finally. I was going to meet my family after twelve months! *** “We’re here, baby girl!” Trisha announced in a sing-song voice. I rubbed my bleary eyes. Shit, did I just fall asleep while that poor girl was driving for three straight hours?! I leaned into her and hugged her tight for a while. I smelled her fragrance for the last time that summer. I went back into my original seat. “I’ll miss you, Trish,” “Jas, I’ll too. Now get your ass back at that home now. Don’t you wanna show your pretty little face to them? Don’t worry about the luggage; I’ll bring them myself,” “Thanks a lot,” I smiled once again. I was about to.
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