" "That's a chance I'll just have to take." I was stunned. I had been sure that the fear of my mom's anger would bring her around. I walked painfully down the hall to my room and sat heavily on the edge of the bed. I looked down and saw the seam in the front of my pants curve up past my waist to the broad flat waistband. The blouse poofed out from the waistband and skimmed softly up to my neck. As my chin rested on the lace collar, I looked over and saw how my arms peeked out from delicate, lace- trimmed puffed sleeves. I felt my stomach heave. I had to get out, no matter what. I went back downstairs, into the family room and started looking in the drawer where the crafts supplies were kept. I gave a yell when I found the scissors and cut myself out of the blouse. I ripped the big white buttons off the pants and pulled down the twin zippers. Then off came the little white socks. Finally, with a maniacal laugh, I freed myself from the pink panties, and . He pretends to be a shallow fratboy, but he's so much more. And he's the one who is there just as much as Ducky. For so long I pushed Tony away but he keep coming back without complaint. He kept caring and worrying. And yeah, loving me.I've known he loves me for a while now.It isn't just the sex. It was never just the sex. He makes me feel things—frustration, anger, affection, pride, lust, desire. Not only the negative emotions but some positive ones too. I feel alive.And I think it is time I let someone in again. It's him, Shannon. And I know you understand.I poured myself a small dribble of bourbon and sipped it slowly. I wasn't saying goodbye to my wife, but I was letting her know that things had changed for me. I had a lover upstairs, more than a lover. A friend, a companion who was turning into more.The man I love.And my place was with him, in bed beside him. No longer tormented by the what could have beens or what should have beens. Letting someone else in isn't a sign of.
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