She was an intelligence agent, an important and skilled one. I was the same, retired but I had been her mentor many years before. I had left the business because I couldn’t handle my feelings for her. They were endangering us both. I don’t believe she ever knew. She was on a new and very dangerous assignment. I had been one of the best and she needed my help. As I looked at her, standing in the hall of my house, I realised how much I had missed her. Foolishly, I agreed to go with her. Next we were at a safe house, with the other members of the team. Rather, in the dream I knew there were others, but I never saw them. The two of us were having great difficulty working together. What I had felt flared once more. And once more I knew there was no way to satisfy those feelings. I could never have her. She confronted me, demanding to know what the problem was. All I could do was look at her and say, ‘I hurt!’ I felt her arms go around me then. I responded in kind without a thought. She. Maybe that time had come today.I handed her a beer as she was taking her first shot and I watched as her face contorted and her body went into those spastic convulsions you see from people who don’t usually don’t drink hard liquor. She took a drink of beer to chase the tequila and poured another shot which I thought was for me until she downed it immediately.I said, “Whatever it is you feel that you need to tell me sure has you wound tight.”To which she responded, “That’s an understatement. I am so scared right now that I want to run out the door. And after I tell you what I am about to tell you it may so happen that you will throw me out the door. I love you more than I can ever express in words and the thought of losing you fills me a sadness that is overwhelming.I said, “There is nothing that you could do or say that would make me leave you so the only way you are getting rid of me is for you to leave me. And even then you still wouldn’t lose me as I would just pine away until I.
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