I doubted it would do any good even if I did. What's more, I didn't want to ruin her happiness nor the presumed happiness of the Zoe girl. Mom had been sad for so long after Dad's death, I was glad that she was happy at last.Not surprisingly, I cried myself to sleep, the tears muffled by my pillow.I woke up the next day dreading the coming school day. All I wanted to do was lie in bed and cry all day. But instead, I got up, stood in front of the mirror, and forced myself to look normal. I think I mostly succeeded, but I may have looked a little wooden.It was a real fight to have normal conversation at the breakfast table. I didn't want Mom to think that I'd lied to make her feel better, because I wasn't upset about what she would assume I was upset about. I think my drama club experience was paying off, because Mom didn't seem to sense anything was wrong.At school, I looked all over, without going out of my way, to find Zoe, to look at her again, but I didn't see her until lunch. But don't hesitate to try it if you change your mind."Two good pieces of advice. I decided to take them both.At lunch on Tuesday, I saw Alex. He was looking a little haggard."Did the English exam this morning." And?" I think I did well, but I'm a little unsure. Sort of the story of my life right now." Friday, we're going to go over those exams and see how we did. We'll know next week, anyway."We talked and ate, and I was feeling like Alex needed something. As we left the Union, I said, "Come up to the room for a while?"We sat and talked for a while, but that wasn't helping Alex. I took off my clothes, and he got the message, took off his. Thinking it over, I hung my panties up before we got on the bed. I heard Anne come in and leave right away; I wondered if it meant anything. But then Alex and I got serious — again.We lay there after a while, talking about the group, about school, other big-deal things."Mary? Thanks for hanging up your panties." You're welcome, but why?" I guess I.
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