I was always the small, slightly built little blondie, but now, watching the others' voices deepening, their jaws becoming more prominent, their legs hairy, their musculature more obvious, I cursed myself for having none of that noticeably happening to me, as it forced me to work even harder to convince the world that I was a young "man."To complicate matters further, with puberty comes an increased libido, and I found myself masturbating whenever I could, and thinking about sex almost continually. Interestingly enough, I had little fascination for the girls at my school; but the women in the sex magazines and porn tapes, electrified me, and reinforced the notion to myself that I was NOT the dreaded "Queer! I now realize that my fascination with these women was not one of desire to fuck them, but rather, to BE them! I've already written how in one desperate moment, while masturbating, the thought entered my silly little head the notion that females should make themselves sexually. Now she would never see him again, her chance was gone."Sorry I'm late," she said as she opened the door to her apartment. "Hardly late at all," her neighbor Ben said with a kindly smile as he stood up from the couch and walked over to greet her at the door. "How was he?" "An angel. He's in bed now." He said as he made his way to the door. "I have to get going, an early day tomorrow." Miley felt guilty. Her babysitter had cancelled at the last minute, so she had been forced to ask Ben to come over. He was such a nice guy, she knew he would do it all the time if she only asked him, but she also knew how busy he was and didn't want to bother him too much."Thank you so much," she said sincerely. "Not a problem," he said as he exited the room, "See you later," he closed the door behind him. Miley set down her bag and walked over to her son's room. Opening the door she peeked through the crack just until she saw his little brunette head lying peacefully on his pillow. Quietly closing the.
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