We should have talked. She had a right to explain.I let her rage on for a few minutes. She ended it herself by starting to cry. Through the sobs she said she was sorry not to have phoned me. She was afraid, she said. She had not dared to call."Do you love me, Myriam?" I asked at last.There was a shocked silence. "Oh God, honey, I love you so much," she whispered. "I am so sorry. I have been so selfish, so awful, I..." I don't think you love me, Myr." But I do! I DO!!"Her vehemence caused me to move the phone away from my ear. I succeeded in keeping my calm."Honey, what kind of love is this if it prevents you from telling me the truth? How could my love scare you? I am in love with you, Myr. Unconditionally. If you are in love with me too, you are mine, just as I am yours. And if you are mine, your truth is mine too. Can't you see that? You can't keep it away from me. It is a cruel and demeaning thing to do."There was silence. It was punctured by a sob.I went on. "Myriam. You tortured. The way he said that about Chrissy, though, sounded like he was expressing concern about a real future.For the first time since I’d arrived, I had the faintest hope that he was actually considering my proposal seriously.“Chrissy loves us,” I said carefully. I took another sip and realized that my glass was empty. I pushed it toward him and he shook his head.“You’ve had plenty,” he said. “The last thing you need right now is to get drunk.”“I’ve never been drunk in my life,” I said.“Well don’t start now.”“Chrissy loves us both,” I said again. “She wants us both to be happy. If she thought we were both happy, she’d come on board.”“It would change your relationship, though,” he said.Again, he was talking as if it might happen, and he was worried about the possibility there would be conflict.“Why?” I asked. “I love you already. I’m not jealous of her. The only difference would be that I’d be living with you. Our roles might be reversed in those terms, but why should that affect how we.
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