This isn’t the nightmare of the past. This is something all together new. I start to turn but your hands catch my arms and hold me still, pulling me against you, my back to your chest. You wrap your arms around me and together we watch until the sun is out of sight. Your hands slowly caress my arms softly. ‘You’re cold.’ ‘I’m use to being cold,’ I answer quietly. You lean down, kissing the top of my head then whisper, ‘Let me show you warmth instead.’ ~All those memories we share I will cherish every one of them~ I close my eyes and when I open them again, we are standing on a deck that overlooks a wooded area, beyond which I know from memory lies a lake or pond of sorts that the dog has taken a swim in on at least one occasion. I lean against the railing and watch you. You’ve taken a velvet coverlet and laid it out on the deck along with blankets and pillows…all in black. You haven’t changed clothing…still wearing black pants, shirt and boots. Trademark look for you as I have come. After we smooched a while, she curled up next to me and said, “Thank god.”“Listen, I’m sorry about our first time. I shouldn’t have pushed.”She laughed happily, “No, no, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have pushed. It was just a bad idea. And it wasn’t you. Really, for once, it really was me. I was so happy after making our study date, but then I found out my best friend…my ex-best friend had been stabbing me in the back for a month. The first evidence of it anyway. It was enough I knew something was really off, though the next week after that, all the bits of news I pieced together about what she'd done were just hell. I swore it didn’t make a difference when I came to study, but it did. More and more as the evening went on, and the whole time you were kissing me I was thinking more and more, ‘What else has she been doing? What is she doing now?’ God, it was killing me.”She looked into space for a minute and added, “I’m sorry I messed with your head. It was cruel. I was too embarrassed to.
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