Not that I ever got involved in it. I thought about guys a lot, but I kind of liked girls too, so I managed to hold myself over with them and convince myself I was really a straight guy plagued by uncalled-for thoughts, which I occasionally gave in to and let myself jerk off to, but definitely only by accident. In school, I just spread the rumors about what I’d glimpsed in the boys’ room like a good, cruel little teenager and bragged about all the girls I may or may not have banged. I took a long, deep drag and glanced at the sewer grate a few feet away from the wall. Those freaks, those -things-, were sometimes said to live down in the gutters (sometimes, it was said, they were actually allergic to sunlight, like vampires). All or almost all males, they were also rumored to be in the regular habit of screwing each other, and sometimes whatever other boys they could get their hands on. Maybe boys just like me. And somehow—I’ll blame it on the heat, the fog over my brain—that thought. Lunch conversation was a hushed, whispered discussion of the night before. There was no part of the evening that she did not thoroughly enjoy, and yet, there were some portions of the evening of which she had little or no memory. And, she had so many questions: “Where did you learn to do that?” “What if I had passed out?” “Did you really like it?” “What did I say?” “How did you keep from cumming for so long?” “Was that bondage?” “Why didn’t you suggest buying some restraints at the sex shop?” Ann especially liked the sense of being dominated and restrained while I did whatever I wanted. That was, to her thinking, the point when she just lost it all and had the flood of pleasure surge through her body, over and over. Any pain she experienced, she thought, only added to her pleasure. And the dirty talk just played with her head and brought her to a new level of pleasure and excitement. At some point, she believed, she didn’t even know where she was physically, only that she.
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