Blah blah blah… Usual disclaimers, you know the stuff by now…Well, me and my wife Kim were on the way home from a night out with friends, the usual shit, restaurant, couple of drinks, me driving. As ever, she’s bending my ear about some nonsense that must only be important to women because I’m really not getting any of it, I’ve got bigger things on my mind…You see, I’ve been shagging the babysitter for months now. She’s called Danielle, she’s 18, only short but with a frame to die for. Nice cans, tight arse, long dark hair, bit rough around the edges but that first time I drove her home and she offered to suck me off… well, that’s another story!Now, me and Dani, we’ve been hatching a plan to give my wife a bit of a wakeup call, stop her being such a frigid, moaning bitch. So as I pulled into the drive my cock was already at half-mast in anticipation.“Shit, sorry love,” I said. “I forgot to pick up ciggies, I’m gonna nip to the garage and get some.”“Why?” She asked in her usual nagging. I was in great shape.She kissed me and we tried to do more, but I failed completely. She rolled off after a while and gently rubbed my many, long, swollen welts and bruises. "A good first step," she said and slid out of bed to stir up the fire.Someone knocked and she said, "Come."My lieutenant entered, stomping his feet and looking sheepish. I suspect he had been standing outside for a while, listening and waiting."Sorry to bust in," he said. "Your leave's over. Sorry ma'am. Cornwallis is on the move. We gotta get the scouts and pickets out." Let me fix you both some breakfast," Susan said, sliding her old dress over her head. "Won't take long."I sat up, disgusted with myself and the army."My God!" the lieutenant said, pulling off his three-cornered hat and looking at me wide-eyed."You ought'a see his back," Susan said, swinging a water pot over the growing fire and getting her griddle."What'd he hit you with?" my officer asked, stepping over and touching the long bruise that curled.
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