Martin?" It took me a second. "Madeline?" Shit. Speaking oftrouble.The envelope felt heavy in my hands. A letter. Why a letter? It feltlike some sort of bizarre trap. Like I was going to open it and it wouldmake my tits balloon up even further or something. I wouldn't put itpast her."Dear Fucker," it began. My grip on the envelope tightened. I was gladto see she was treating this with all the seriousness it deserved."By now you've probably figured out what I've done to you.Congratulations! You're an idol now. Just like all those girls you'veused up and abused over the years. Now you get to see how the other halflives.You said I was always playing games? Well in this case you're absolutelyright.But before we begin, I want you to realize just how lucky you are thatyou even realize what's going on. I could have had you turning penny-ante tricks on a street corner thinking it's been your dream job eversince you were a little boy. I could have had you fall passionately inlove with the. H." You just get ready for the best weekend of your life." Back atcha big boy"Later that day, my mom is driving me over to his house so that Mr. H and I can leave for this math conference, or so she thinks. She then starts to say,"I am so stinking proud of you. 6 months ago you were in danger of not passing and now you're being invited to a huge math conference with your teacher? That is incredible, you have worked so hard."Again, because I love testing the limits of my sluttiness, I reply, "Well it certainly hasn't been easy working this much. Mr. H has been putting a lot of work into me for awhile. Those study sessions before and after school are soooooo hard but I think his favorite are our lunch sessions. That's when he gets really deep." I didn't know you're doing it at lunch too!!" (yes she really said that, and yes it was really hard not to laugh)"Oh yeah! Before school it's hard sometimes cuz we won't be fully awake and after school we have to wait for the deep stuff till.
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