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Not uncommon in Portland, but stupid and usually dangerous only in groups. A couple others were watching off to one side. I tried Plan A. ‘You’re making a mistake here. Why don’t you go hang out with your friends?’ Behind him I could see what he couldn’t: the guys I came with had noticed the problem and were getting up from our table. He had too many drinks in him to listen to reason. ‘Why don’t you make me?’ The girl I had been flirting with was standing there, wide eyed. I spoke to her quietly. ‘Could you stand back, please?’ She promptly did. A deep, Spanish accented voice came from behind him. ‘Hey, ese, if you got a problem with the Doc you got a problem with the rest of us. Why don’t you maricons go drink someplace else?’ Manny Rodriguez wasn’t much taller than I was but he was built like a fireplug. Over a lot of bull sessions in Afghanistan, I learned that he had been a rising star in the East Los Angeles Surenos when he realized that he was attending way too many funerals. .) Clerk: 'Kinkos.' DJ: 'Hey, is Sarah around there somewhere?' Clerk: 'This is she.' DJ: 'Sarah, this is Ed with FOX-FM. We are live on the air right now and I've been talking with Brian for a couple of hours now.' Sarah: (laughing) 'A couple of hours?' DJ: 'Well, a while now. He is on the line with us. Brian knows not to give any answers away or you'll lose. Sooooooo... do you know the rules of 'Mate Match'?' Sarah: 'No.' DJ: 'Good!' Brian: (laughing) Sarah: (laughing) 'Brian, what the hell are you up to?' Brian: (laughing) 'Just answer his questions honestly, okay? Be completely honest.' DJ: 'Yeah yeah yeah. Sure. Now, I will ask you 3 questions, Sarah. If your answers match Brian's answers, then the both of you will be off to the Gold Coast for 5 days on us. Sarah: (laughing) 'Yes.' DJ: 'All right. When did you last have sex, Sarah?' Sarah: 'Oh God, Brian....uh, this morning before Brian went to work.' DJ: 'What time?' Sarah: 'Around 8 this morning.' DJ: 'Very good. Next question..
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