Their communication screen mysteriously activated, and there stood Grant Maxwell, who announced, “Welcome to Earth, Osgar. By the way, you don’t have to fear the Zaxdor any longer. We’ve already defeated them.”“But how?”“When you were removing and updating our computer system one of my people was pulling all sorts of valuable information off your own computers. With this, and the time and resources we had, we were able to prepare for your visit as well as set up several colonies around the universe. We sought out your enemy to seek aid, but they were such an unpleasant people. A common earth virus was able to devastate their population and we were able to study their ships and weapons to learn both their weaknesses and strengths. The results are many times worse than anything you’ve ever seen.”“And now you’re going to conquer the Universe?”“No, just you, and anyone else who plans to destroy our peaceful way of life. You know what’s sad is if you’d peacefully sought a place here on. I’m not as interested in that as in the concept of The Garden of Earthly Delights. Especially when it comes to Ariel.”“That girl is the embodiment of earthly delight,” Mary laughed. “You wouldn’t have to paint anything. Just take her on stage and strip her.”“The thing is, she’d love that!” Once Ariel came out of her shell, sex had competed successfully with music and mechanical engineering. It was almost like she had a triple major. “I’m thinking of doing an actual garden scene with flowers and such sort of growing out of her.”“Sounds kind of boring.”“Unless I apply Blankety’s final project last term with it.”“The shapes ... Oh! Create all the flowers and highlights and shadows out of other shapes? That could be interesting.”“Especially if all the shapes were ... um ... sexual in nature. I mean, can’t you just imagine Ariel’s body covered in flowers that were actually made of little vaginas and penises?” I asked. Mary raised her eyebrows and put her pencil down.“Speaking of vaginas.
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