Ever. I love you, and I will always love you. I will spend the rest of my life loving you, only you. That will not change. Whenever you get this figured out, no matter when it is, no matter where you are, I will be waiting for you. You are always welcome to come home, no matter when. There is nothing you can do about that, nothing you can do to stop it. Do you think not having you here, spending the rest of my life alone is going to hurt less than what you would tell me? Do you really think I can forget you, that I can find someone to take your place?" I was being brutally honest, but she needed to know how I felt if she was going through with this."God, I am going to miss you! I love you so much! Maybe someday..." She was sobbing as she hung up.I stared at the wall for several minutes, and then I got up and went to talk to Amy. She was lying on her back on the bed, staring at the ceiling. I sat on the bed and shifted her head onto my lap. I stroked her hair and reached down to kiss. With a loud voice and angry look on her face she objected, "How could you love me and want to see me have sex with another man? That is just perverted and not normal."I explained again to her, "I love you so deeply that it hurts me at the thought of you going thru life and not enjoying sex and all the pleasures in the bedroom. It will be hard on me because I want to be the one that gives you that pleasure but I would rather see you have the pleasure than you to never have it. And again as long as I am there I won't feel as though you are cheating on me. You will always be in control and I will be there for you and if you want me to participate I will and if not I will just enjoy watching you have hot sex." I left it at that and she did not speak to me for several days."So Randy," she blurted at me as I was sipping my morning coffee, "you honestly think you could watch me have sex with another man and not get jealous and upset?" I know it is not going to be easy but I will adjust to.
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