U know my stand.’ ‘But I am missing u pretty bad every time we part. I thought that we could meet just once.’ ‘Baby don’t fall for me. We could have time here but nothing further.’ ‘Why?’ John asked, a dull ache invaded his chest at Ariana’s answer. ‘Because it won’t end well hombre. It will only leads to lots of suffering for u.’ Ariana added ‘I think we should stop here for the night. We’ll chat again tmr ok?’ ‘Ok. Good nite angel.’ Was John’s simple reply. What Ariana could not see was the hurt in his eyes. John finally realized that the feeling he had for Ariana is deeper than he thought. The pain he felt was that of rejection even though he knew she was right. They are both married to others. It would take a series of painful events for them to have a chance of ever being together. Ariana still seated in front of her now off computer feeling shocked at the slight disclosure of John’s feelings for her. In the past she had came across lots of men professing their undying love for. I needed to feel that warmth and wetness. I needed relief. In a last mad act of willpower, I jammed three fingers into my mouth and sucked as hard as I could on them. My eyes squinted, and tears rolled down my face. My lust was unaffected. I pumped my hand furiously into my mouth. Saliva poured from the stretched corners of my lips as my desperation drew muffled screams with every stroke. I maniacally thrust my hips into the air until finally, absolution. I lay there trembling in the dark unsure at first what to make of my deed. Subsequent nightly reenactments convinced me that my actions were acceptable, and I began to take great pride in the pleasure I received as a symbol my self control. During later sessions, I would add the stimulation of my nipples, but until I was 17, my fingers never once even made contact with my vagina. Nothing did. I would pull at the skin on my hips to spread my labia when I urinated. I steadfastly refused gynecological examinations during my physical..
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