Then, as if it only required a full glass of wine to accompany it, the lighter springs into life and I drag abusive smoke deep into my lungs. “Charlotte Howson commented on Alison Farrar’s status “have a great time”. “What’s on my mind?” I don’t want to be me, I want to be her. I don’t want to be small and dowdy and forgotten. I don’t want to be “her indoors”, shuffling around in tunic tops and A-line skirts, baking endless cakes for “good causes”, popping round for coffee and chatter about houses, gardens, and “how wonderfully Nathan is doing at his new school”. I want to be tall and elegant with platinum blond hair falling about my shoulders. I want to be the Jean Harlow of his office; foundation, powder, eyeliner, mascara, eye shadow and lipstick all perfectly combining to display the charm of my youth. I want to sit erect with my carefully manicured nails alternating between keyboard and phone as calmly and authoritatively I seduce the world to crawl before my hosiery sheathed,. Ron is great, but I still need to supplement him." What kind of supplement?" I asked hoping she wasn't talking about me."Sex toys silly. What did you think I meant?"I stammered an answer that didn't make me sound like I thought she was cheating on Ron. She sounded like she didn't believe me. I was quick to change the subject and she was quick to open another bottle of wine. By the end of bottle two, my head was spinning. I told Judy I needed to head home. I knew Jim would be home in just over an hour and I wanted to get in bed so he wouldn't find me drunk. I stood on wobbly legs and started walking toward the door. As we were passing the stairs to the second floor, Judy not so subtlety pushed me toward the stairs."Before you leave I want to show you something."In my wine fueled haze I was reluctant, but she was insistent and I found myself clutching the banister as she directed me to her bedroom. It was tastefully appointed and had a big walk in closet. There were three dressers,.
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