For one thing, I'm not a big drinker, never have been, and I'm just not much into bar scenes. And even if I was, I'm kind of leery of women who frequent bars, because in this day and age, you can't be too careful.Plus, I'm usually a relationship-oriented person, not someone who goes for a lot of one-night stands, although I have had a few. And, finally, I'm just not a bullshitter. I don't have a naturally-flowing gift of gab that makes women fall down at my feet.So when I broke up with this last woman, I hit a dry spell, and went into a bit of a funk. I was pushing age 45, and while I was in good shape, I wasn't sure if I still had what it took to make a woman happy.I'd been living alone for 41⁄2 years and I was starting to get settled into that bachelor's nether land, where you're too set in your ways to change, but too young to just give up on having a decent relationship with a female.By this time, Samantha was a senior in high school and my youngest son was a junior, and like Sam. What remained was the slavery to a pattern.Each contact with a human being is so rare, so precious, one should preserve it.Living never wore one out so much as the effort not to live.The personal life deeply lived always expands into truths beyond itself.What I cannot love, I overlook. Is that real friendship?The human father has to be confronted and recognized as human, as man who created a c***d and then, by his absence, left the c***d fatherless and then Godless.The possession of knowledge does not kill the sense of wonder and mystery. There is always more mystery.There are many ways to be free. One of them is to transcend reality by imagination, as I try to do.The dream was always running ahead of me. To catch up, to live for a moment in unison with it, that was the miracle.My ideas usually come not at my desk writing but in the midst of living.When you make a world tolerable for yourself, you make a world tolerable for others.And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a.
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