Asked. ‘You come up with anything?’ Tim nodded. ‘It had to happen, or I never would have found Julia.’ Out of nowhere, he heard it – that tiny little half-gasp, half-moan. The one that sounded like someone had just seen something they never expected. The same one he’d heard a little less than an hour ago. Tim and J.T. exchanged glances – J.T. had heard it, too. Neither of them turned to look, even though both of them knew she was there. For his part, Tim knew there were things he needed to say, things he had to vocalize now, or he’d never get them out. He also knew there was no way he could say them to Julia. She’d look into his eyes, give him one of those soul-stealing gazes, and he’d melt inside. And then, he would run. Almost as if in tune with his thoughts, J.T. placed a hand on Tim’s wrist. He simply nodded. ‘So, I’m guessing that’s a good thing?’ J.T. said, encouraging Tim to continue as he pulled his arm back. ‘You were around me all the time back then,’ Tim said, choosing. In my diary, I started to record my thoughts and feelings, as well aswhat had happened to me that day. I found what I thought was the perfecthiding place for it, a box in the back of my closet. I didn't want Mommaor Daddy to find it and read it. It would have been so easy for them toopen it even without the key. As for the locket that held the key, I keptthat hidden in a separate place.Looking back at that diary, one would see the writings of a person thatwas on the brink of doing something drastic to remove the pain he (she)felt. Often I would cry myself to sleep because I knew that in themorning I would have to be a boy in every way. Many times I would praythat when I woke up, I would be a girl and all that I had gone thru wasjust a very bad dream. But it never happened.I wanted to be a girl so badly that I would hide magazines for teen agedgirls in my backpack to read after I was supposed to be in bed andasleep. Amy would let me borrow hers and then we would spend time talkingabout.
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