..” Elaine cried out, dropping to her knees. “It wasn’t supposed to happen yet! I didn’t see her dying before Father! Why didn’t I see this truly?”‘But you did, Seeker, ‘ the Praetor informed her. ‘Your sister cannot be both Alana, the lover and Béla, the daughter. She chose to lose her identity as Béla and has come to me willingly. I return her memories even as I embrace her within me. Even now, she dreams ... and remembers.’“Will she remember me?” Elaine needed to know. “Will she remember her life on Earth? Her sisters? What about Jake?”‘There is another for Jake, ‘ the Praetor told her. ‘While it is true he will grieve, Annalisa is there to heal his soul. And unlike the ‘Carte Blanche’, Annalisa is a true match for Jake. As his life-mate, she can provide his soul’s deepest desires.’“How do you know that?” Elaine demanded angrily. “How can you possibly know that it is Annalisa that Jake was meant for after all the pain and grief that Béla and Jake went through for each other? To be. ’ (There I go, lying again.) ‘Well that isn’t the main reason.’ I noticed a smile. ‘I just think that you could bring more to this role than an actor who has to imagine what this character is like. The female actors in the group all lead comfortable, trouble free lives.’ ‘But, I don’t think that I could bare my soul on stage, what is it 8 times a week for how long, 4 weeks. You are asking too much, I can’t do it.’ I noticed that she said ‘can’t’ and not ‘won’t’. ‘I think that you can, otherwise I would never have asked you.’ ‘What about you? If you cast yourself as the male lead you will have to bring your emotions to the stage, I have this feeling that you are as damaged as I am, that you are just as much afraid of a new relationship as I am. What is your story Spencer Fletcher?’ This caught me by surprise. I was not prepared to discuss my pain with her or anyone, not even a Psychologist. It was my pain and I would deal with it in my way, and writing is my way of escaping from that.
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