Being a zombie in public means police and court involvement so I have to keep seeing a court-authorized shrink to stay out of legal trouble.Recently Dr. Susan - she insists I call her by her first name but use the title - recently she found out that I was writing stories for the internet. She blew a gasket and demanded that I bring in my laptop and all my backup disks. She read the stories and said that she could not allow me to descend further into my psychosis and insisted that I delete all my accounts and erase my stories from my hard drive. She kept the backups. (She didn’t say anything about my memory stick, so I still have my stories.) She also committed me for a 72 hour observation citing that I was possibly a danger to myself.I have never hurt myself. When Wayne comes, he sometimes hurts me. When I am Kelly, Wayne sometimes hurts me and sometimes he has others hurt me. But I never hurt myself.60 hours into the 3 day observation I went catatonic. I returned with. I’ll want some photos, some books, and my clothes. Oh, but I can’t forget about ‘The Boy’ in my office! I’ll stop by and pick that up. That was something I couldn’t leave behind. Now what should I say? ‘I thought I loved you, but I’ve met someone who showed me what true love is.’ No, that’s not right. ‘Something happened that I didn’t expect. I’m so sorry but I’m leaving.’ I figured that I would just have to endure the angry outburst, take my verbal punishment. Answer his questions truthfully. Make him see that I’m just not completely happy with him and once that true joy has been experienced, there’s no going back. Try to soften the blow by explaining it’s not him, it’s me, that was the problem. He did his best. Yes, that’s the approach. I fell asleep without trying. I certainly felt exhausted, both mentally and physically. It had been one eventful week. I woke up as we began our descent into Honolulu to go through customs and refuel before continuing on to Los Angeles. It was.
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