“Eh Morag, Wee Jock here is wearin a skirt.” “Its a Kilt you twat,” Morag explained.“No its a skirt,” Jock explained, “Ah’m transitioning tae a wooman, Ah’m weain’ a skirt as a part oh it.” “Really?” Morag asked.“Aye, Ah’m transitioning tae a lesbeen,” Jock explained”Ah ken its been a while but youse was a pussy fiend when youse was last around these parts,” Andy observed.Jock continued. “Ah been down London an’ I thought I was hame sick and I saw a shrink an she said she used to be a guy and she was never happy until she transitionated and had her balls cut off and she thought I might be the same like.”“Whit, You a Homo?” Andy asked stunned.“No, I’m becoming a Lesbeen,” Jock explained, “No more willy flopping agen ma lags, ut’ll be grand.”“You’ll need to shave your beard,” Morag said and she called her friend over, “Janet, wee Jock here is transitionin’ tae a LesbeenJanet was shocked, “What about yer beard?”“Ah grewed it for one last time afore ah has me whatsits chopped,” Jock. In the Old Silurian Period, the Mississippi River was upward of one million three hundred thousand miles long ... seven hundred and forty-two years from now the Mississippi will be only a mile and three-quarters long. There is something fascinating about science.One gets such wholesome returns of conjecture out of such a trifling investment of fact.”-- Mark TwainHow to interpret employment ads“Competitive Salary” - We remain competitive by paying less than our competitors.“Join Our Fast Paced Company” - We have no time to train you.“Casual Work Atmosphere” - We don’t pay enough to expect that you will dress up.“Must be Deadline Oriented” - You will be six months behind schedule on your first day.“Some Overtime Required” - Some time each night, some time each weekend.“Duties will Vary” - Anyone in the office can boss you around.“Must have an Eye for Detail” - We have no quality control.“Seeking Candidates with a Wide Variety of Experience” - You will need to replace three people who.
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