"Now let's say you get the feet, and I'll grab him under the arms, and we'll see if we can get him as far as the elevator."I felt their hands tugging at me, until they finally lifted me. They carried me like a lifeless log all the way to the elevator banks.It was late again.Maybe 11:00 o'clock. A few people were still in the office. They glanced my way, but after a stern look from Jim they quickly glanced back.The elevator dinged. We got in. The doors closed. They gently set me down on the elevator floor. I felt something pressed up against my lips. It was Paul. He was holding a water bottle to my mouth."Drink, it'll help clear your head."I obediently took a big gulp."Slowly now," Paul said. "Drink too fast and you might lose your dinner."The elevator binged again. The doors slide open to reveal an empty lobby. I was once again hoisted up and carried out the front door into the dark and bitterly cold parking lot."He can't drive like this," Jim said.I could hear the smile in Paul's. For me, there were a million reasons togive up rocketing around in my head during that time and a few othersthroughout the process. In the end though, it wouldn't have made mehappy. I knew in my heart transitioning was the right thing to do and Irecognized I had to chase it and catch it. I hear from a lot of peoplewho "wish" and "want" to have transitioned, but they can't because of alife or wife or whatever. I understand where they're coming from. Ijust never wanted to wonder what if. Priorities are everything in life.I never came close to bailing on my transition. You have good days andbad days, but the bad ones are just that - one day. Over time I justdid my best to try and learn from my failures. And in this process, youfail about three thousand times, so you better try and learn somethingfrom it.2. When you looked back on the one night stands that you mentioned byname, do you remember them fondly or did your entries jog your memory?Are there ones that you may have.
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