I went out to the patio with a drink and a pack of cigarettes. I've more or less quit smoking in the last 3 months, but now I needed it? both the drink and the cigarettes.Sitting there, I recalled the past months. The decreasing affection, the ending of sex, and of course all the signals that should have showed me long ago that my wife has been cheating on me. Without even noticing, tears started running down on my cheeks and I was quietly sobbing.I somehow fell asleep on the patio chair, and only woke up late at night when Mary arrived home.She noticed immediately that something was wrong. The traces of the tears were still on my face.She looked at me for a long time, waiting for me to say something, and when I didn't say a word, she said quietly:"You've finally found out, haven't you?" Since when have you been cheating on me?"She shrugged. "Does it really matter? I hinted to you that I find 'open marriage' intriguing and you turned the idea down. So I've decided to open our marriage. " Hmmm. And what did you learn?"I thought for a moment. "One of the things I've come to appreciate is how important it is to set aside time for reflection. Pick a time when life is quiet, when things aren't urgent, and then think about what principles you want to use to guide your life. Then, when you have an urgent question, don't try to answer it directly. Instead ask, what principles are involved here? Upon what principles should I make my decision? You do that, you've got your question at God's level, the real God."I munched on a steaming hot oyster wrapped in hot-pepper spinach leaves. "Identify the right principles involved, and let them guide your decision. It's really quite easy, and very effective."Melanie smiled at me as she bit into a Kiwi. "You make it sound so easy."I batted my eyes at her playfully. "Well, yeah, in practice... Difficult decisions are still difficult. Melanie?" Uh huh?" What's your schedule like for today?" My resident schedule is two days on, two days.
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