That was when they forced me to marry Robert.”A compassionate Brenda hugged her again and said, “Oh! That had to be painful, emotionally.”“It was. As for my grandfather, he loves me dearly, but he has never been real affectionate. We spent time in the woods learning the ways of the Apache, or we sat and talked about whatever I was interested in. That part was great, but he never held me in his lap and just cuddled me. In school the boys were afraid of angering the legendary Longbow. They were friendly, but they seldom asked me out on a date, which was probably good. I was so starved for affection I’m likely to have spread my legs far too easily.”“Didn’t you have any close girlfriends?”“To the girls I was pretty much an outcast with no close girlfriends. I wanted to go to college while most of them just wanted to be someone’s squaw.”Brenda giggled, and said, “That doesn’t sound too different from the girls in my high school, except they wouldn’t use the word squaw. As for my parents,. I want it for me. You are amazing Arie. You fulfill one of my needs as I do yours. However, I’m realizing that I have so many more that need to be fixed. And when it smacks me in the face, I hurt for it. And I guess your text did just that. I wanted to tell you that at lunch, but when I saw you and how happy you were and those big brown eyes looking at me so carefree, I didn’t want to ruin it. I know what we have, truly I do. It’s purely sexual. And I really thought I was able to separate sex from feelings. I thought if I could have sex like a man purely to just have sex without guilt, feelings or emotions, it would be fun. But I’m finding the more time I spend with you the more I cannot be that man. You are not like my other affairs. We spend a great deal of time together. Plus you want to do things with me, which confuses me. I’m getting mixed signals. So why don’t I just quit you? You have become my drug. The high you give me, is something no drug has ever been able to do. You.
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