His companions nodded in agreement.The unfortunate animal was taken before a magistrate, who concurred with their assumption, and charged the ‘man’ with being a French spy. A swift trial was followed by an equally rapid execution. As the monkey danced to its death on a rope the Hartlepudlians congratulated themselves on preserving the sanctity of England from the machinations of the dastardly French.It was a visiting merchant, from the much more sophisticated town of Sunderland, who identified the ‘French spy’ as a monkey, and the news of the Hartlepudlians’ foolishness and ignorance soon spread throughout the county, and beyond.“Well, I thought the men of Scunthorpe were stupid, but it appears Hartlepudlians surpass even them,” Spelky said, before emptying his tankard.“I thought you hailed from Scunthorpe, Spelky?” I said.“No Colonel, I was born in the town of Brigg. Which is ten miles, and three hundred years, away from Scunthorpe.”“I suppose, if all you had heard of the French. A pillow landed in his face for his troubles and Rose shrieked when he pounced on her."No! Watch my dress! Eeek!"He had his mouth buried in her neck suckling on the soft skin and tickling her in the process. When he let go, Rose looked at him reproachfully."If I had any say I'd shave off those bloody whiskers! They tickle like hell!" What? You don't like that?" Jim asked innocently before nuzzling her neck again."Eeek! Stop that, please!" Rose shrieked. When he let go she glowered at him. "You can't make me scream like that. What will the servants think?" They'll think that I'm a lucky man!" Jim smiled down at his wife. "Will you take off that dress now or shall I have to tickle you some more?"Rose stared back at him with smoky eyes. "If I take off my dress will you put that moustache to a better use?" You mean on your boobies?" Jim asked.Rose shook her head."Your belly button?" he hazarded.Another shake of Rose's head was the answer."Your armpits?" Don't you dare! No, can't you think.
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