To fit me for my next job — a job about which I knew absolutely nothing. After eight months, Casey allowed as how I was ready. What did that mean? Ready for what? Well, it meant that I was prepared to be a lending officer in April's bank. That was impossible, of course. After all, I only finished the tenth grade. But did that slow down the little monster? Hah! Don't be ridiculous."Do you know what she made me do, Judge? Can you possibly guess? She makes me take a whole set of College Boards — the SAT's and achievements." Then her face fell as she added, "And I scored 800's ... on all of them! Is she finished yet? Of course not! Now I take the BSAT — the Business School Aptitude Test ... and score in the 99th percentile."'But I'm only a partially reconstructed prostitute!' I screamed."Little Miss Monster then ordered me to strip naked and follow her into her room. There she made me stand in front of a full-length mirror and look at myself. To my utter astonishment, I see that I was. "Michael," she said - for that was the boy's name, he was in some ofAshley's classes at school, "We don't even go to the same school. Andeverybody knows I'm doing this thing for my mum today. It's going to bein the newspaper. If you even try to start spreading this crap about me,I'll get Ashley to tell every girl in your year you wet the bed."Okay, so the girlish courage and strength was tempered with a fair amountof bitchiness, back-stabbing, blackmail and rumour-mongering, but shesolved the problem in a non-violent way, and what's more, he fought likea girl: with cunning, viciousness, and the kind of bitch-fu that wouldscare a prom-queen. Michael shouted a homophobic epithet at Chloe, andskated off with the inelegance of probable bed-wetter. My two daughtershigh-fived each other, and skated off hand-in-hand.Eventually we tired, and Ashley convinced us to go to the shoppingcentre. Ashley argued- and I suspect she had an ulterior motive - thatclothes-shopping was an important girly.
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