What he was looking at was the clothes they had on. Clothes he wish he could have on. His mother's side of the family ran a night club and during the early evening he listened to the music and wondered what it would be like to feel silk blouses against his skin or the feel the breeze of wind blowing through a skirt he could wear. He always knew he was different. When he was little he prefered to play barbie dolls with Missy instead of gun games with Jason. He always hated playing the father when playing house with his sister and her friend. He loved it when her friend couldn't come over and he got to play a pregnant mother to his sister playing his daughter. After that thril Chris got curious about other things. One day when he was alone in the house he wondered what it would be like to shave his leg. He look his mother razor and ran it up his leg cutting himself. Seeing the blood, he quickly put the razor away and cleaned it up. When his parents got home his mother made a joke. She puts her hands onmy hips, and her long, light fingers are like firethrough my jeans. She still seems tentative, though,like she’s scared to give in to me.I lift my mouth off her lips and press my forehead intohers. “Tell me to stop and I will,” I say. “Is thatwhat you want?”“I don’t know,” she repeats.“I only want this if you want it too. I want todisappear into your flesh. I want to get lost in yoursoul.”“But I don’t just want to give away my body,” shewhispers back. Her eyes are closed and her voicetrembles. “I’m not some office whore.”“No, you’re not.”“I don’t know what people say I am…”“You’re Laura, the woman I see when I close my eyes.You’re Laura, the voice who answers when I pray. And Idon’t want your body, Laura: I want to belong to you.”Her hands slide around to embrace my ass. For a momenther tapered.
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