Mary...”“Is that you, Fred?”“Yes, I’ve come back like we agreed.”“What’s it like?”“Well, I get up in the morning, I have sex. I have breakfast, off to the golf course, I have sex. I bathe in the sun, then I have sex twice. I have lunch, another romp around the golf course, then sex pretty much all afternoon. After supper, golf course again. Then I have sex until late at night. The next day it starts again.”“Oh, Fred, you surely must be in heaven.”“Not exactly, I’m a rabbit on a golf course in Des Moines, Iowa.”Lexus LS400A woman bought a new Lexus LS 400. She returned it to the dealer the next day, complaining that she couldn’t figure out how the radio worked. The salesman explained that the radio was voice activated.“Watch this!” he said... “Nelson!”The radio replied, “Ricky or Willie?”“Willie!” he continued, and “On The Road Again” came from the speakers.The woman drove away happy, and for the next few days, every time she’d say, “Beethoven”, she’d get beautiful classical music,. ’ The voice came from his right, an unspoken challenge in it that Wade knew well. Reigning in his temper, he took off the heavy protective gloves and turned. ‘Hope ya like em big.’ Three steps took him within inches of the sneering co-worker. Wade didn’t say a word, but he didn’t have to. His fierce glare wiped the look from the man’s face. Waiting until the bully moved back, Wade smiled at him and went to see the manager, knowing the outcome even before he got there. The quaint town of Boden wasn’t any better than the one he’d left. But it was as far as his old truck had taken him before it gave out. Knocking on the rusty door, Wade shook his head at the piece of cardboard taped in the middle of it. The word manager printed in black marker was faded and stained from what he assumed was years of hanging there. ‘Yep, bout time ya got yer ass up here, now git it inside.’ Stepping inside the stuffy office, Wade felt his stomach lurch. Foul body odor and nauseating cigar smoke.
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